Good News, Bad News and Moving Forward

This week I have both some good news and bad news.

The bad news is that after spending countless hours on my application to become a welcome week rep, I received a rejection email. Truth be told, I'm having a very hard time with this because so many past reps were encouraging me to apply and many said that they would put in a good word for me. In the email, the committee said they would be happy to provide us with individualized feedback, so I replied thanking them for the opportunity and asking for some advice. Essentially, they told me that they didn't see leadership qualities in my application and that my interview wasn't strong enough to be considered.

This really resonated with me because I knew people in high school who used to say things like that just to put me down. Over the past four years, I have had to make a choice each day to listen to the voices that encourage me, instead of those that make me feel less than. However, when I read this email, I immediately began to question myself. Many people have said that the feedback isn't a reflection on me, and that there were so many factors in play that were out of my control. I'm not sure what I believe, but I suppose in the end, it wasn't meant to be. I guess there's always next year!

On a more positive note, not long after receiving this email, I received another one accepting me into the MacServe program! I will officially be going to Costa Rica over reading break! We will be staying in the mountains with host families who speak little to no English and working with locals to help build their communities. This will be the first time I travel without family and I'm beyond excited! I can't wait to begin my adventures overseas and see what Costa Rica has in store for me!

Moving forward into the next couple weeks, I'll be preparing for my midterms and continuing to learn physical assessments for clinical practice.

...I think that even though I didn't make it into yellow suits this year, I'm still going to apply to be involved in other areas at McMaster. This is not so that I can prove anything, but simply because it makes me happy...and I think happy is a good thing to be!

End of Term One

I cannot believe it, but first semester is officially over!
That may have been the fastest and most informative four months of my life so far.

Looking back over the first semester, I learned so much. Not only about nursing, but about people, relationships, and life in general. I've made new friends, shared tons of laughs and shed many tears.

Since my last post, I have completed half of my required hours at my volunteer placement, written three final exams and taken my first OSKE (worst experience of life). I have stretched my brain in ways I never knew possible, pushed my vocal range to its limits and sang at my first university concert. I also recently applied to go to Costa Rica next semester with MacServe! If I'm accepted, I'll be heading off on a reading week trip to San Ignacio de Acosta. It is run through my residence, with the goal of helping local women build their businesses. Originally, I wasn't planning on going, but my mom encouraged me to go because travel is something I have been dreaming about my entire life. I thank God every day that I have her to challenge and support me because I wouldn't be the same without her.

I look forward to hearing any news about my application, and I'm already more than excited for next term. For now however, I plan on thoroughly enjoying the next two weeks off of school. They are well deserved, and I'm going to savour every second.

Until next semester!

First Midterm

Today I had my first ever university midterm.
I am so glad it's over.

For the past two weeks, anatomy and physiology has been my religion. Countless hours of my life have been sucked away by reviewing lecture captures and struggling to learn about the human brain. Still, despite my studying, I felt anxious all morning.

A fun fact about myself is that I've never been a "day of" studier. Usually, I study well in advance until I reach a point where I give up and resort to binge watching TV shows. This time however, no amount of Netflix could calm my nerves. I'm not sure if it's because anatomy and physiology is ridiculously difficult, or simply because this was my first experience writing a university test, but I was a wreck. I tried all day to cram as much information as possible into my head until I began to feel nauseous.

Once I started to feel like I might pass out, I packed up all of my things and left my residence in attempt to calm myself down. A lengthy walk around campus worked to distract me, but only slightly before I noticed other students heading towards the exam. I was so anxious that I honestly thought I might not make it out of that test alive.


Suddenly, my mind cleared, and I heard a voice in my head confidently say "you're going to come out of this, and you're going to continue on to write countless more midterms. One day, you'll look back at this moment laughing because you're such a stress bag." In that moment, I started to laugh out loud and my nerves were eased a little. Realizing how ridiculous my feelings were was exactly what I needed to push myself and go write my test.

The ridiculous part is that, like most things in my life, I was way over prepared and worried myself sick for absolutely no purpose. I'm happy to report that my midterm was much simpler than I expected, and I'm confident I passed!

Afterwards, I treated myself to a London Fog before moving on to my next assignment due that day. One way or another, I will make it through this program.

Surprise!

Just a quick update:

After a stressful solo audition and a gruelling two and a half hours of group callbacks (which may have made me flop on my bed hopelessly and cry uncontrollably), I successfully made it into the MacaBellas!

Even though I originally wanted to try out for the co-ed singing group, I decided in my audition that the time commitment was too much because I want to focus on school this year. The MacaBellas are an all female acappella group that practices less, but still performs at shows and coffee houses! So far, I really love the people that I'm singing with, and I'm excited for all of the fun times to come!

My First Patient Interview

As part of the nursing program at McMaster, students are encouraged to write reflections on their nursing experiences. This allows for personal growth, skill development and analysis of actions. Our professors stress the importance of literature and story-telling in the medical field, and suggest that we study it further so that we can understand the importance of narrative techniques in nursing. I was very excited when I learned about this, because, as some of you may know, I love to write...especially stories! I decided that writing reflections would give me the perfect opportunity to update my blog, and help me develop my skill set as a nurse.
Therefore, without further ado, I give you my first reflection:

Today I had my very first interview with a standardized patient.
An SP is an actor who is trained to portray a specific character with an illness, for the purpose of nursing education.

This was a very interesting and exciting experience and the interview went very well!

Initially, while waiting outside the hospital simulation room, I started to feel nervous. The windows were tinted and the hallways were silent. I took a deep breath, prayed, and watched the student before me exit the room. Dressed in scrubs, wearing my nursing badge and clipboard in hand, I entered.

For some reason, the moment I saw the SP sitting there, my nerves started to ease. The woman was seated with a neutral expression. I greeted her, introduced myself, took a seat and began my interview. All throughout the interview I felt very relaxed. My questions flowed naturally and I began to enjoy talking to the patient. In the moment, I inquired about multiple aspects of the patient's life simply because I was interested in how those aspects affected her condition. After the interview, my tutor told me that I effortlessly covered all required components extremely well.

The patient herself told me that she thoroughly enjoyed the interview and felt that I was genuinely concerned about her. I was told that I was entirely professional, empathetic, and that I used excellent verbal and non-verbal communication techniques.

My tutor explained that the only aspect I forgot to discuss in the interview was mentioning confidentiality. This makes sense because this occurs in the orientation phase of the interview, and I was slightly flustered before entering the room. However, reminding a patient that an interview is confidential is a very simple component to remember, and I'm very pleased with how the interview went as a whole.

Now that I have interviewed a patient once, I know that I am fully capable of doing it again. My readings and inquiry have thoroughly paid off so far, and I have realized how much I enjoy this aspect of nursing!

In short, I am loving the McMaster nursing program!
There have been so many exciting experiences and I look forward to doing more!

An Aca-opportunity

Today I officially bought my first set of textbooks!

This was both an exciting and devastating moment for me because as much as I love books, I think I cried a little bit when the cashier announced my total...I don't think I've ever spent that much money at one point in time. After swiping my card, I put all my books in a bag and began the trek home. 

Unfortunately for me, today just so happened to be the hottest day of the year and I sweat the entire walk home. My books were so heavy, that I think I pulled all the muscles in my arm and almost destroyed my new bag. Once I got home, I sat all of the books on the floor and cracked them open. I am so excited to start learning about nursing. I feel like there's so much to know! 

Today was also Clubsfest; the one day a year where all of the clubs at McMaster set up tables so that you can see which clubs you're interested in. As I was walking past one table, someone called out to me asking if I was a singer. In that moment, I wasn't really sure what to say. Even though I sang in high school, I think that certain people around me discouraged me to the point where I wasn't sure if I was very good. When the person today asked me if I was a singer, it felt like a new opportunity to start fresh and forget what people used to say in high school. As hard as it was for me, I smiled and replied, "yes!"  

One thing led to another, and after 45 minutes of staring at my computer screen, I decided to sign up for an audition to be part of Macappella, McMaster's only acappella club! I realized today that I need to start trying new things without being afraid of failure. I'm not sure if I'll make it into the group, and I have no idea what to sing for my audition, but regardless, I'm excited to see where this goes! 

Just the Beginning

Today marks the last official day of summer vacation. 

     I won't lie, I'm slightly bitter that summer snuck away from me as quickly as it did. After a busy final year of high school and a whirlwind successful job interview, I went straight from graduation to full time employment within 24 hours. Ever since then, time has zipped past. It's as if I boarded a bus that took an expressway through summer vacation and dropped me off here, at the last stop. I'm suddenly eighteen years old, I've moved out of my parents' house, and I'm preparing to begin my first day of university classes tomorrow. I don't know how it all happened so quickly, but again I won't lie. I am ecstatic to begin my new adventure. 

     I have the privilege of being a part of McMaster University's undergraduate nursing program. Although the application process wasn't the smoothest, and the non-academic requirements seemed excessive at first, I am delighted that all my paperwork is in and I am ready to go! I absolutely love everything about Mac so far, from the beautiful campus, to the sweet people and amazing support system for first year students. Every day I am more certain that I made the right choice in coming to this school. 

     After moving into residence last weekend, I enjoyed a truly awesome welcome week. The activities were a blast, and the people were fun and energetic. It was a wonderful way to get to know new people and to have an absolute blast! I had the privilege of competing to be 'Super Frosh' by leading a cheer in front of my faculty, trying out for different teams, going on waterfall hikes and so much more. It was an unforgettable experience, and I hope to be a rep next year.

     One of my favourite parts about the nursing program here so far are the NUBs (Nursing Upper-year Buddies). Each first year student that is interested can fill out a short survey online to match them up with a similar, upper-year nursing student who is willing to mentor them. I was excited to take part in this program when I accepted my offer to McMaster, but now that I have met my NUB, I am blown away. She and I have so many things in common with one another, from study habits to future career dreams, and I am so thankful for this opportunity to be mentored by such a wonderful person. Because of this program, I have one friend I can always go to if I need help, and knowing that is an awesome feeling!

     I'm so excited for what each new day has to offer, and even though I know things will get tough, I look forward to learning and growing over the next four years.

Here's to just the beginning of an incredible journey!